mental doodles from my noodles

 and then i'm like, fuck you old man how dare you have a point while writing in the worst way possible -- unaesthetically.  YOUR OWN FUCKING THEORY OF AESTHETICS UNDERMINES YOUR MODE OF EXPRESSION MOTHERFUCKER

Lug around the Grundrisse between work and home as an attempt to keep myself motivated enough to do the deep dive I want to do when I have that other kind of motivation. Other than that, what's REALLY keeping me back from that objective is just being happy. Which is a weird feeling, but hey, it's nice.